You'll never go to heaven

'Oh you'll never go to heaven' is a real campfire classic. Personally, not my favourite, but everyone else seems to enjoy it. Try to make sure a couple of your audience are up for adding verses, it is more fun when the words are coming from round the circle.

There is a 'proper' start to it, though I usually just go into the verses. The four lines are sung as a call and response, then the whole verse is sung through followed by the chorus. 

The Preacher when down.....  (echo)
To the church one day.....  (echo)
And he got on his knees....  (echo)
And he started to pray....  (echo)

Repeat the verse as a single singthrough...

The Preacher when down to the church one day, and he got on his knees and he started to pray.

And then we get the chorus...

I ain't gonna grieve My Lord, 
I ain't gonna grieve My Lord, 
I ain't gonna grieve My Lord, 
I ain't gonna grieve, My Lord no more.


He asked the Angels...   (echo)
For some advice....   (echo)
How do I get to Heaven...   (echo)
This was their reply...   (echo)

Repeat the verse, sing the chorus.

Oh you'll never go to Heaven / In a baked bean tin / 'Cos a baked bean tin's / Got baked beans it.

I'm sure you get it by now...

Oh you'll never go to Heaven / In Akela's car / 'Cos Akela's car / Won't go that far.

Oh you'll never go to Heaven / With a fat Girl Guide / 'Cos the pearly gates / Aren't built that wide.

Oh you'll never go to Heaven / In a bottle of gin / 'Cos the Lord won't let / No spirits in.

Oh you'll never go to Heaven / On a piece of glass / 'Cos a piece of glass / Might cut your elbow.

Oh you'll never go to Heaven / In a Jumbo Jet / 'Cos the Lord ain't got / No runways yet.

And so on, seemingly for ever. Make up your own verses, they will either work and come back in future camps or be lost in the fire... either way, good luck!